Moments

Each of us has them. Millions over a lifetime. Yet some stand out so poignantly that they remain in our minds eye forever. Sometimes they are associated with a smell or a sound but for me they are usually an image. Our house on Fargo Street in California, my first kiss (which was horrible), the moment I knew I was going to marry Scott, seeing Celeborn for the first time, finalizing adoption of Eomer and Aragorn... and so many more moments which add up to the person I am today. Many of them are good. Many are sad or painful. But they are all mine and define the way I live my life.

Here I sit with this recent moment in my mind's eye. This part of my story I hoped never to live again. And yet, who am I to wish it away? Our lives are filled with joy and sorrow, bitter and sweet, hope and fear. It wouldn't be fair of me to presume that I should be immune to the hardest parts of living this human life, especially when I have so much. Family and friends who love and have lifted me, a comfortable place to live with luxuries most of the world will never know, the chance to better myself with a college education, and so much more.

Each of us faces moments that change who we are and how we behave in the world around us. Each of us has experienced sorrow or pain so deep, so profound that we thought we could not survive another moment. And yet we do.

I will never forget the moment I saw those two blue lines appear. My hands shook for two days. It had been so long I didn't think it was possible. And in the end, my body proved unable to sustain that little life. Many tears have been shed. Many more will come.

Where I am sitting, to my left, is a photo taken of Scott and I on our wedding day. We were so young, so sure of ourselves, so naive. We had no idea of the hardships we would face. And in many ways life is still like that. We make plans, set goals, look forward, but we don't really know what surprises will come our way. I know that I can survive because I have him.

Thank you for all of your love and support as we weather this storm. We feel so loved! And when it is your turn to face sorrow, because none of us can avoid it, know that we will love and support you in return.